I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
