I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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