With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
false alarm, still single
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
