His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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