the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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