Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize