just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
