you would pick up someone in the library
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
