i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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