Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
