Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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