then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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