my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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