This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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