I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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