I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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