so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
