We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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