If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
