some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It's shark week go big or go home
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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