I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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