walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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