ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
