yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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