Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
