If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
