I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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