'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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