I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
