You don't have asthma, your pregnant
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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