Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize