Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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