I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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