Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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