end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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