I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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