Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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