I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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