That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
