my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
