i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Farmville is her only friend.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
