Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize
