Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
