I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
