Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My penis needs a shock collar
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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