Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
