Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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