Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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