Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
