Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
