I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Randomize
