i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
