I'm eating all of the evidence.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
