I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize