okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
