My nipple is on Facebook.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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