D3 body, D1 cock
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
