Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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