Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
