she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
