I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
