I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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