handjob tips. give me some.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I touched a dick in church today
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
