its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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