Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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